Tuesday, May 22, 2018

This Fucking Mental Masturbation!

This fucking mental masturbation!! I am so sick of myself!!

I was supposed to be happy today because Mr. Wilby praised me for my film.

Yes i was happy for like, 20 mins. Then a little incident, which is fine, then after the class, it all go down hill because i couldn't finish my debate with Mr. Wilby as well as the class on how to arrange this Thursday assignment due date thing.

Then this fucking afternoon i felt so bad, and i lied in bed for like 40 mins to mentally masturbate over what the cause was.

My worst fear always come true. Cant be sustained.

These guys fucking didnt act themselves!! (Dylan, Liyema, MyMan, Mbu). I was expecting them to discuss about this but they were staring at their computer and doing fucking group docs (which was fucking due this morning!), which made me feel like i was the only one pathetically and needy to talk about Thursday assignment with Mr. Wilby.

Oh yeah, then I got jealous of Liyema's film because his film was also praised.

I was so fucking narcissistic about myself!!

So I had to come back home and mentally masturbate the same scenario over and over again. (Damn I feel exhausted and dizzy). Trying to figure out why I felt this way...

Then I listened to Awaking Hearts... which is therapeutic..but only after a successful mental masturbation is conducted.

And that Fishaway shop assistant wasnt helpful.

Damn when is Nicole gonna contact me?...

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