Sunday, May 13, 2018

I keep digesting

I keep rewinding Nicole's messages on WhatsApp over and over again.

Because it sounds so comforting to a broken young man like me.

Nicole is so charming. But she has a girlfriend I feel so sad that i have to restrain my feelings towards her. 

I just loved her voice so much she said i could pop into her home next week which made me feel so good. No female has ever pro-actively asked me before. 

Dylan's party last night was also good. I had a good time. If it wasnt that Uber driver I could ve gotten more high. Well ironically his name was also Dylan.

Adam and I are friends now. Dylan and I have become, maybe, close friends.

I made some connection last night which was important.

I feel so looking forward to this meeting with Nicole next week I just feel good near her.

I am anxious and depressed, she is mature, happy, joyful, compassionate, which is just what I need. But I dont want to be too needy in front of her thou. I want to further develop our friendship.

God, she is the one of the only two people i gave my Chinese knot to, the other one is Erin.

I still miss Erin, after i talked to Taylor and Adam last night, i discovered that she is a reserved and conservative person who doesnt have many friends, maybe as weired as me.

God so why can't we be together?!

"This film is dedicated to Erin." God I practice line almost every day.

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