Friday, August 26, 2016

Why do all the pretty girls have boyfriends?

According to my research online, it is true. Why is that pretty girls all have a boyfriend already?

Thursday, August 25, 2016

She has a boyfriend

Damn, Cure has a boyfriend. It was funny, I thought he was her dad.

I ve been praised for my performance today, I didn't expect that, but looks like it turned out pretty well.

Watched Amy's theatrical show tonight, I was alone, thou, always...

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Tomorrow is the shooting

Tomorrow is the shooting and I am gonna be acting in it.

Feels pretty casual because rather than directing it, which will cause me a lot of pressure and stress, acting is much more relaxed. But I don't like theater studies. I just enjoy causal acting.

I want a white girl to be my girlfriend so much. I recently read about the Facebook page of one of my past classmates in VFS, he is a Chinese, and he got a Russian girlfriend! I am so jealous.

And I am so scared. Worried that this jealousy can destroy me.

Goddamn it! Fuck!

I took a picture with the hair dresser yesterday. After I shaved my head completely for the first time.
She seems to be nice. But I doubt we have many things in common.

I feel so lonely. I so wanna have a female companionship!

Saturday, August 20, 2016

A dream about Cure

I had a dream last night. It was about Cure. She was just the same as I am.

But she smokes that's the thing.

I can't date a girl that smokes.

We had a good time in the dream. I felt I had fell in love with her. And I felt so safe.

I didn't remember exactly the details of the dream.

Friday, August 19, 2016

I was praised

I was praised today. By both my teacher and my classmates. It was so surprising that I got 70% on my group doc, and Amy told me that was the third highest in the class!

Damn, I feel like I am on top of things.

But I am still lonely thou.

But this score once confirmed my endeavor in the school of AFDA.

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Day 2063 into the Self Realization Journey

So the beginning of 2016 has been reconciled. August the 18th, 2016. Everything is OK from here on now. I am going to truly experience South Africa. Not to mention tomorrow the Group Doc is going to be rewarded.

I shouldn't be put into a mental hospital or a police station or anything.

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

She is so hot.

My teacher Shannon is so pretty and damn hot, I just wanna make love with her!

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

I talked to her today. Just a casual chat and there was no progress. I couldn't break it thru. I couldn't get her to be affectionate of me.

Well, apparently, they call her a "Fairy", I was absolutely astounded, because it was so true! Why did I not think of this?

So rather than a Goddess, she is a fairy. Sounds reasonable.

She is pretty, she is beautiful.

Monday, August 15, 2016

God, she's a Goddess...

I don't know what but, God, she's a Goddess, Emma.

That's her name. She has a very cute face, but different kind of cuteness. Not what you think that type of cuteness. A cuteness that's very neutral. It doesn't make you sexually attracted to her. It's just an innocent... Princess Peach.

She's tall. She has a very good shape too. I would say, a perfect shape, I haven't seen this perfect body shape in years. Yolanda was the first girl that I thought had perfect body shape. Now for Emma, it's just so perfect.

She's smiling every day, all the time... I just wish I could be the one she shares sorrows with...

I wish I could ask her if she has a boyfriend (which I asked Wesley today instead) apparently, she's seeing someone, but not a boyfriend...  

I wanna get a blonde and white girlfriend, maybe I shouldn't focus so much on people's look?

Who cares, I just wanna know more about her!

Thursday, August 11, 2016


Her name is Cure, I don't know how to put a tick on top of the letter "e". I said to her that "You don't talk much, do you?" And she doesn't respond with any words, she was just looking at me, and turns away.

I didn't wear glasses, so maybe she smiled instead, but I couldn't see it.

I feel this fear again. Fearing being hated.

But I don't think she is thinking about me otherwise, so there shouldn't be anything to worry about as I have already apologized to her about that weired complement I said on WhatsApp.

I don't like this.

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Sundance's Words

"Our paths have crossed in such mysterious ways, I don't know where I will see you next, but I know I won't be surprised when it happens."

This is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

She is Sundance. 

In the Starseeker Universe, she is the Final Messenger to Suning.

Day 2055 into the Self Enlightenment Journey - A Reboot of the Original Blog

This is the new blog for my daily thoughts. Since I am unable to resurrect my original blog I created 5 years ago, I had to start a new one, because I feel like I needed to create a place where I can write down my thoughts freely, without restraining my self to any format.

It's been like this for quite sometime now: So many ideas and emotions started pouring in since two weeks ago. I believe this blog will be more interesting than the original one.

Yes, it is a continuation of the original blog, for anyone of you who are interested, you can still find it here:

Searching for the Sustainable Energy Source...

But for now this is the new title for the new blog:

In Request of the Starseeker Universe

Let's continue our journey.